3 Self Help Steps to Overcome Stress, Anxiety and Depression

“You are a smart person; you need to have this information.”

If you've been experiencing more depression, anxiety, or stress lately, read on. 

I will teach you what therapists know because I want you to have these tools yourself so you can have everything you want and deserve.

Three effective therapies taught are Cognitive Behavioral Psychology (CBT), Positive Psychology, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). These are the tools therapists use to treat their patients, and I'm going to tell you how to use them yourself. 

At the foundation of each therapy is a principle that our thoughts control our behaviors and emotions.

Please read that again because it's essential.

You can use these therapies for yourself to get better, and I make it very simple for you with three steps that you can practice yourself:

1. Understand what creates depression, stress, and anxiety.

2. Learn to identify what you are thinking about any given situation.

3. Sift through each thought and challenge it.

Understand what creates depression, stress, and anxiety.

Research proves that our thoughts, not life events, create many emotions of depression, stress, and anxiety.

These emotions are not destructive in and of themselves. If, for example, you feel anxiety because someone is trying to attack you, that is good. It serves as a signal to do something about the onslaught.

But what happens is that our thoughts go haywire and create anxiety unnecessarily or depression that leaves us feeling that we can't figure out solvable things.

Learn to identify what you are thinking about any given situation.

Most of us don't know what we are thinking and how our minds create negative emotions — the first step to seeing what is in your mind is to practice mindfulness to thoughts. 

This is done by noticing what you are thinking and writing each thought down. By doing this, you become aware of what you are thinking about yourself, about others, and all situations.

Noticing your thoughts takes practice. When I started, I took an entire week to write down every idea I was thinking.

Sift through each thought and challenge it. Ask yourself:

Is this thought really true?

• Is this thought helpful?

• Is this thought useful in problem-solving?

Then replace it with a more productive thought. For example:

You notice the thought, "He doesn't love me."

You challenge it, "Is that true?"

You replace it: "I know he loves me, but his behavior towards me is hurtful."

When you get there, you may feel more empowered and walk away with some essential information on improving the relationship, rather than merely feeling depressed.

This process is what your therapist takes you through in a typical session without you even realizing it. Finally, you come to the place of knowing that your thoughts are accurate. And this gives you the confidence to move forward boldly on the action.

Thoughts control our emotions and behaviors. So practice being mindful of your thoughts. Notice each one and write it down. And challenge and replace each thought with a better feeling thought.

With time, you will more automatically reframe experiences in this way and feel happier. Until then, find more tools like this, and get the support and feedback you need as you learn to trust yourself and build an easier, more brilliant life.

Tami Green, master coach, and trainer has almost two decades of practice working with those with recent mental health diagnoses. You can schedule a coaching session with her here.